21.05.2020

Beacon Talks: specialist gives tips on how to speak and listen to children in an assertive way

“How to speak for your child to listen and how to listen for your child to speak” was another theme from Beacon Talks, which welcomed Renata Pereira Lima, researcher who holds a master’s degree in Anthropology, to talk about this topic.

Renata shared techniques and tips with the audience to improve the way we listen to children and teenagers considering their characteristics, and also how to speak more effectively with each age group.

In this online chat that took place in Beacon’s profile on Instagram, our director Maria Eduarda Sawaya, who mediated the talk, contributed with her experiences and also helped to pass on questions from the audience to the speaker. People who took part in the event were very participative, sending questions during the live and making very interesting comments regarding the topic.

During the talk, Renata explained, in a very good mood and even using emojis to show the importance of facial expressions, that communication with children from different ages has its particularities, but that the principles for them to feel confident to talk about their concerns and perceptions are always based on the same rules. Listening without judging, keeping calm, knowing how to encourage responsibility for the decisions and attitudes they take and, often, only the physical presence and willingness to listen to parents are some of the measures that can contribute to a better relationship of trust between parents and children. When speaking, it is also important to avoid words that generalize attitudes, such as never, always, everything, nothing and again, as these words can complicate the understanding that that behavior needs to be reconsidered.

With teenagers, the conversation needs to be free of predefined ideas so that parents can listen to their children better and show empathy when listening to their problems. Being human and talking about your own feelings, respect the individuality and feelings of children, and dialogue when they need are important steps towards an open and constructive talk. When correcting, the tip is to make the teenager reflect in search of their own answers, to position yourself without making judgements, so as not to give the idea of questioning their potential or decisions. The important is to help them understand their autonomy and reinforce the bonds of trust, so that the doors of dialogue are open, even though the need for isolation among teenagers is more present than in young children.

Access here the video with the full chat.